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Showing posts from October, 2011

Words can be murder

"Hey Elvis," they'd say. "Sing a song." It wasn't meant to comment my non-existant singing ability. Instead, they poked fun at my long sideburns. They reached halfway down my cheek, thus the Elvis quip. Truth be told, I didn't have long sideburns by design. My family simply could not afford frequent haircuts, so often I would go two or three months between clippings. By the time I got a haircut, my hair was quite lengthy in the back and, of course, on the sideburns. It's why today I hate having any kind of length to my hair and have my wife trim it about once a month. I don't want to see it that way again or dare to hear remarks about it. You see, sticks and stones can break your bones but words can sometimes hurt more. Those wounds don't heal as easily as a bone or cut or scratch. Words leaving lasting scars that really never go away. In exodus 20, in the sixth commandment, god says you shall not murder. Jesus takes it one step furt

Things learned as a parent

Being a parent has opened up my eyes to so many new revelations. I remember when I held my little girl in my hands for the first time.  It was overwhelmed.  I loved this hours-old infant more than anything, yet I had never truly met her.  I would give my life for her.  I realized, in that instant, just how much God loves me. As my daughter has grown, I understand the patience God has with me.  I have to have patience with my own daughter, as she figures things out for the first time, finds her footing on unfamiliar ground and learns a new trait or word or action every day.  Sometimes I just want to go ahead and do something, but I have to have patience to allow her to learn.  God does the same with me. Lately, we've been potty training.  I struggle with it because often it seems my daughter regresses rather than progresses.  For every one time she pees in the potty, there are 100 times she doens't.  And don't get me started on the other side of that equation.  In fact

Rest...or face the consequences

I remember early in my ministry I was constantly working. Monday thru Friday, I had daily office hours I had to keep at the newspaper, where I worked as a sports writer.  Covering sports also meant you worked a lot of nights.  A LOT of nights.  I covered all the sports in high school, plus a few non-high school sports.  I worked Monday nights at games or on the sports section.  Tuesday nights at games or on the rest of the paper.  Thursday and Friday nights were usually game nights too.  Plus there were Saturday morning and afternoon events.  On top of that, I was serving as a bi-vocational youth pastor.  I had youth each Wednesday night.  Office hours at church on Wednesday and Thursday.  Saturday events (when I wasn't covering sports) and all of my assigned duties on Sunday (including roles in both morning services, teaching Sunday School and weekly Sunday night meetings.) I literally worked seven days (and nights) a week.  When I wasn't busy at one job, I was busy at t

It's time for a frank discussion about sex

I read an article yesterday from Relevant Magazine that really opened my eyes as a youth pastor. It's not about youth or youth ministry, but nonetheless has implications that echo down into ministering to teenagers. The article, entitled Almost Everyone's Doing It , reveals that a recent Gallop Poll study shows that 80 percent of single Americans, aged 18-29, who identified as evangelical Christians, have had sex before marriage.  That's only down 8 percent from non-Christians.  (Eighty-eight percent of non-Christians 18-29 say they've had premarital sex.) That's a pretty scary number.  That means 8 out of 10 students, in our churches, will have sex before marriage.  What's almost as startling, 42 percent, just under half, say they are in a current sexual relationship. There are many factors, including an increased amount of sexual messages in pop culture, ( Another study shows that 92 percent of last year's Billboard Top 100 songs contained some t