Marriage is too important to get wrong
It should have, but it wasn't. You see, my mom had already announced she was divorcing my dad once the new year began. We all gathered - my mom, dad, brother and me - one LAST time as a family that day. We exchanged gifts and pretended to have a normal family Christmas. It was anything but.
Tension filled the room. Each gift was more like a last request than a joyous Christmas present. It felt more like a funeral than a Christmas gathering around the tree.
True to form, about a week later my mom officially divorced my dad. The next morning she gathered her things and moved to California. I didn't see her again until my wedding.
Divorce hurts. It destroys. It consumes. Nothing is left untainted by divorce. It affects the children, the family, friends, acquaintances, even the community. No one wins in a divorce.
Everybody loses.
Perhaps that's why Jesus is so strong when he talks about divorce in Matthew 5:31-32. In affect, Jesus says God doesn't like divorce. He doesn't command divorce. He doesn't excuse divorce. Divorce, in Jesus words, is only permissible after unfaithfulness, and even then, it's not required. Reconciliation can still take place.
God hates divorce because it destroys his children. It hurts us, as human beings, and what hurts us, hurts God. He hates seeing families broken up, spouses angry at one another and absentee parents. He hates the consequences of ending a marriage.
God forgives us when we sin. That includes divorce. That doesn't mean he likes it. God's intent for marriage is a life-long relationship. As humans, we mess up that ideal. God forgives us when we do, but he doesn't like it.
No one does.
God's expects you to be married until death do you part. That's why the marriage decision is so crucial. Marriage is too important to get wrong. Apart from a relationship with Jesus, marriage is the most important decision you face.
Before taking the plunge, whether that's a year or 10 years away, make sure the decision is sought by MUCH prayer, fasting and meditation. Seek God's will for your future and your marriage. Failing is not an option. The consequences are too painful.
As a child of divorce, I can tell you first hand the consequences don't end. My children will never have a good family Christmas visiting the grandparents. We spend our time shuffling between my mom and dad. I feel bad for them. Yet, it's also a reminder to be vigilant in my own marriage. I don't want my fate to be theirs.
I'll be honest. I always get nervous when teaching, preaching or writing on this subject. So many of my students and families in our congregation are impacted by divorce. Many of my students live in blended families. I don't want to offend them. I also don't want to water down God's truth.
The truth is, God hates divorce. The truth is he's also a God of forgiveness and healing. Seek that forgiveness. Offer it up when you're been wronged. Bask in his healing. Pass on what you've learned.
Then, perhaps, we can begin to heal from the epidemic of divorce in our world. Maybe, just maybe, we can help someone from the next generation hold on to life-long marriage.
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