Selfishly Praying

When I was in high school, I prayed selfishly.  I lay in bed and offered up my "wish list" to God, often specifically listing what I wanted him to do.

I wanted a nice car, a girlfriend, good grades, and to go to college.  And not just any college either.  I wanted to go to a college far away from home, or at least as far as I could afford.

Every night, just like clockwork, I would pray for the same things over and over and over again.  I would get specific with God.  I wanted an 'A' on a paper.  I wanted to date a particular girl.  I wanted to go to any school but Northern Kentucky University, which was the local college literally 15 minutes down the expressway.

It was always about me and rarely about anyone else and especially not about what God wanted.  Oh, sure, I'd frame it that way.  I remember praying, "Lord, send me to whatever school you want me to attend. I trust you. But please send me anywhere but NKU.  Lord I want to go away to school.  Please make that happen.  Please don't let me go to NKU."

Some prayer, huh?  Guess where I ended up?  Yep, I'm a proud graduate of Northern Kentucky University, which was and is a fine college institution, even if I had no desire to attend the school.

You see, I prayed for selfish reasons.  I wanted to leave home and attend school away from my parents.  I wanted to have the true college experience.  I wanted to be on my own and do my own thing.  I knew that was the best thing for me.

God knew better, though.  I thank him everyday that he does.

You see, at Northern Kentucky University, I met my future wife.  I met my best friend and together we co-authored a novel.  I made lifelong connections.  I received a well-rounded education not hampered by the dangers of campus life.  I ate well living at home.  And, most importantly, I stayed out of trouble.

As a naive young adult with a tepid walk with Christ, I know what would have happened on those other campuses.  I would have found a way to get in trouble.  I would have met the wrong person or hung with the wrong crowd or had no one to keep me accountable.  I know because many people I knew did.  And those would have been the people I likely would have hung around.

At NKU, Jesus got my attention.  He focused me on him.  I would not be in ministry today if I had gone to another school.

I prayed selfishly and not surprisingly, I didn't get what I asked for.  I'm thankful for that.

In Matthew 6;9-13, Jesus gives us a pattern for prayer.  In the example, Jesus makes it clear.  We are to pray for his will, not ours.  When we pray, our desires must line up with his.  When they do, he can answer our prayer and grow us through it.  Our desires must become his.

To effectively pray, he have to learn this concept.  We must follow his direction so we can pray in his will.  If not, we may not get the answer we want.  In my case, that was a good thing.