Better Safe Than Sorry
I'll never forget the e-mail I got one morning.
It was from a parent of a new student who had been attending youth. The parent had no connection to our church, yet the student had been consistently coming and interested in learning more about Jesus. The student became more involved in our program as the weeks went by. I was excited about their potential.
That's what made the e-mail heartbreaking.
It described, in detail, how this student was being bullied by some of our students after youth group was over. It concluded with the following sentence: "I want the student to be involved in things like church, but if this continues, I cannot allow him or her to come back."
I quickly e-mailed the parent back that it was not acceptable behavior and would be dealt with. I even thanked them for letting me know.
I never saw this student at youth group again. When I saw them a few weeks later, he or she simply said, "I'm not allowed to come anymore."
I've passed this student on the street many Wednesday and Sunday nights as he or she hangs out with their friends. They all waved. None of them ever got on the church bus. To do this day, I'm not sure of their salvation.
I am sure of one thing: bullying prevented someone from hearing about Jesus. Bullying is a serious matter. So is gossip. If our youth groups are going to be effective, they have to be safe places where students can hear about the truth of Jesus without fear of physical, emotional and spiritual intimidation. It has to be a place where they feel safe to share their hurts, their problems, their questions and yes, even their ignorance about faith and Christ.
Jesus NEVER prevented anyone from approaching him and hearing about the Kingdom of God. We shouldn't either.
Students need to see the seriousness of such actions. Adults need to keep them accountable.
I've kept that e-mail. It's still in my Inbox. It's one of the first e-mails I see. I keep it to remind me of a student we didn't reach and of the consquences of bullying: ETERNITY.
Let's make our youth group a safe place - for all of us.
It was from a parent of a new student who had been attending youth. The parent had no connection to our church, yet the student had been consistently coming and interested in learning more about Jesus. The student became more involved in our program as the weeks went by. I was excited about their potential.
That's what made the e-mail heartbreaking.
It described, in detail, how this student was being bullied by some of our students after youth group was over. It concluded with the following sentence: "I want the student to be involved in things like church, but if this continues, I cannot allow him or her to come back."
I quickly e-mailed the parent back that it was not acceptable behavior and would be dealt with. I even thanked them for letting me know.
I never saw this student at youth group again. When I saw them a few weeks later, he or she simply said, "I'm not allowed to come anymore."
I've passed this student on the street many Wednesday and Sunday nights as he or she hangs out with their friends. They all waved. None of them ever got on the church bus. To do this day, I'm not sure of their salvation.
I am sure of one thing: bullying prevented someone from hearing about Jesus. Bullying is a serious matter. So is gossip. If our youth groups are going to be effective, they have to be safe places where students can hear about the truth of Jesus without fear of physical, emotional and spiritual intimidation. It has to be a place where they feel safe to share their hurts, their problems, their questions and yes, even their ignorance about faith and Christ.
Jesus NEVER prevented anyone from approaching him and hearing about the Kingdom of God. We shouldn't either.
Students need to see the seriousness of such actions. Adults need to keep them accountable.
I've kept that e-mail. It's still in my Inbox. It's one of the first e-mails I see. I keep it to remind me of a student we didn't reach and of the consquences of bullying: ETERNITY.
Let's make our youth group a safe place - for all of us.
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